a Journey

*yawns* It's a lovely, bit hazy, lazy Sunday morning. Lazy. Yup. So much for staying up to do my readings last night. Knocked out like a log. *oink* *sigh* I wonder how Fay can just make herself stay up so late till 3a.m! It's crazee! I'm barely functioning by 1a.m. I need to start serious muggin! I feel like such a slacker! Maybe I AM a slacker. Bah! There's always today I guess. Tonight I mean. The day's for Lama. He's been a bit blue lately. I think it's the painkillers. Depressants. He's been a baby. Over-sensitive from my point of view... or maybe I'm really being harsh with him? It's just that all along, everytime he followed me to my friends parties and when we went out with his friends, he NEVER took a drink. Always said he doesn't drink. And yesterday at the BBQ, he took the cup and drank anyway. So I felt like it was only after I asked him pointedly about it that he defended himself and said he'd taken it for me. Right! I mean, I had already said I didn't want it. And I didn't even touch it. But I'm like, 'Aiyah, forget it la.' I realize that he's got as much right as I do to decide when and where he wants to drink. But I'm not too sure alcohol and painkillers are a very good combi in his state. If I remember right, there's sth bad about it. And he's been saying that I'm picky about his size. I mean, he is small. I'd like my guys bigger. He says that's not possible, but, he was once big enough for my liking! So, how is that not possible again? *sigh* Like Xuying says, I gotta accept him, petite and all. And I realize, I do. I fell for him when he was still scrawny and all working for Toys R Us. If I could fall for him then, learn to love him then; trust me. Loving him now, is no problem. Size is just a preference. I'm looking for sincerity, and he's got plenty. So till that runs out, I'm standing by him. =) Fay's invited me for a sleepover this Thurs. Sometimes, I get so sad thinking that all the times I'm spending with her now will be gone once she goes to Aussie. It's like, I'm storing up enough of Fay to last me 2 years! *sobs* It's quite sad. Losing a best friend... and half your group of friends to overseas studies! Maybe I should ask Becky how she deals with that fact. I mean, her own best friend is overseas... She's managed to live on. Anyway, Jo, Naidu and I are gonna start studying together again. *grinz* Thinking of inviting Sherene, the mother hen along. If anyone is gonna keep us in check for studying, it's gonna be her. Just ran into her yesterday, she's really pretty now in the Taiwanese fair sweetie sorta way. Realized that she's really got a whole lot prettier since TPJC days. Haha. And Naidu, Jo and I still look like kiddos. Talk about juvenile! I'm just so grateful for my Nuurul and the rest at CS. At least that helps ease gurlfriends factor. I think it's just so crucial to have your gurls there for ya always. Always. I remember reading sth online and the person was like, at the end of the day, when the men in your life screw up (as majority usually do), there'll always be the gurls in your life who will hold your hand and cushion the fall. Just like Rossetti's 'Lizzie and Laura'.