a Journey

The thoughts of my mind always get a voice, whilst the truths of my heart is but a lead ball that sinks to silence -- within me.

When Aunty Jenny passed away I realized that life is a gift. The good, the bad, the ugly. As I watched her struggle with her cancer, as I saw her try to embrace the embers of life that had so suddenly be extingushed, I made the promise to myself. When I kissed her goodbye, I knew I was being given a second chance I don't want to squander. Life is a gift, a chance, a song I want to live with love and dignity.

What do I want from life? This is a good question, Shifu. I don't realy know... Perhaps I am learning the wrong way. To learn from elimination.

I am sorry for the hurt that I've caused. I am, because I have learnt to treasure people.

Because, I don't have the right to say who matters, or not.

I have learnt the importance of being able to look myself in the mirror and say I can live with the person I see. That he makes me try to be a better person. I want to see more than one side to the prism of life... I want to embrace all that life is. To have new truths and perceptions revealed to me is a precious experience that stability cannot buy.

Above all, I've learnt the fact that I am but a pawn in the greater scheme of things. I am but nobody. I cannot control people's beliefs or perceptions. The behavior of a person is so easy to alter, but the mind is a fortress of its own.

Perhaps I am setting myself up for a broken heart? I don't know yet. But I don't want to live in fear and miss out on life.

So as I continue to ride out the waves that Life has decided to deal me, I will be cleansed and battered, but I will surface.