a Journey

I didn't know why I was upset over my friends' achievements... I was positively blue and sulky and pouting half the time... and so I got fed up with myself and thought about it. Why on earth was I feeling this way?! And then I realised it was my fear :: of being left behind when everyone else climbed their corporate ladder and flew away to countries far, far away :: I am afraid that one day, they will look at what they've achieved and say: "Maybe I should upgrade my friends." And I won't be in the upgrade list. But the other part of me reasons; if these are the people whom you want to call your friends, are they worth your blood and sweat? I know I'm emotional. I used to try and build a wall around me and be so careful about my 'inner circle'... but I realised that Life is unpredictable. And to be ultra-careful in order to prevent myself from hurting, I don't want that. I learnt that I grew the most from the painful lessons. But then, there's the fine balance between trusting blindly and common sense... which I realise, may not be so common after all.

And so, kudos to all my safety nets this past year. It's been crazy-beautiful. Yes, sometimes, it hurts the most when we smile as we cry... but I've been so fortunate for family and friends. We always read about how people thank their family and friends for contributing to their sanity... and in posts like this, we tend to discount it. But going through the potholes, we learn to understand the unsaid love & thankfulness behind the simple: Kudos to y'all.