a Journey

"... she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops."

Perhaps we all try to make sense of the mess in our lives better through retail therapy. Maybe the new pair of heels will help heal my bruised ego. Perhaps the stuffed toy will help me with my troubled sleep. And so we go.

Kurt Vonnegut speaks of Billy Pilgrim, you could "carve a better man out of a banana", and how sometimes, Life just happens. Pilgrim's survival of the Dresden bombings whilst the remaining 85% of the city was consumed in a fireball, wasn't because of any brave act of his. He was fortunate enough to be in a deep enough cellar beneath his prison-Slaughterhouse 5 whilst the fireball consumed everything and anything organic in its path. Pilgrim didn't melt in the human microwave, simply 'cos he was at the right place at the right time.

For all the talk of freewill, how much of Life is really up to us? And for all the silver of opportunities that we really get to choose -- Do we even try?

Service Scenario Uno:

My brother and I were at the KFC outlet near Tampines bus interchange yesterday evening, waiting patiently in line to order our family feast for our darling niece. This was a fast food outlet, which seemed to be doing very well in terms of crowd control, having a queue system and all (great queue system! I can't get over the fact that it was the best queue I've seen in months).

And then it was our turn. Halfway through my order, the girl behind the counter(as her name on the batch, D****a) interrupted my order as she turned to talked to her colleague mid-way through.

I breathed in and continued to smile. Turning back giggling, she asked: Can you repeat your order for me? Still I breathed in and smiled. And repeated my order.

She packed my takeway order without any sauces or servettes. I asked for them. She said: "Oh ya, you want the blah blah blah.." If my brother had not pinched me under the counter, I might have leapt over the counter.

Perhaps this is the norm here. But I can't accept it when the server of a KFC  who seemed like he couldn't read the menu (I ordered by verbally telling him my order, he didn't seem to be able to read the menu when I pointed out what I wanted) gave better service. But regardless of whether he could read the menu, he sure knew his responsibility well. For all the words he didn't have, he didn't substitute it with gibber. blah blah blah.

Service Scenario Dos:

Today we had dinner at Fish & Co. at Parkway. Perhaps they were seriously understaffed. But does it take an hour to put a packet of earl grey tea into a cup of hot water? Fine, maybe we shouldn't have ordered two cups of earl grey tea. Perhaps we should have stuck to a single order. Oh and we should have brought a flask of hot water too. To reduce the time it took to boil water for 2 cups of water. My bad.

Here's a tip for those of you who want the bill to come after another 30 minutes of waiting. WALK OUT. It's quite interesting to see how they suddenly notice your table when you head towards the door. So next time you want your bill pronto, just start walking. That'll get them running. ;)

Back, and suddenly, it strikes me how small everything feels. Looking out to the reservoir the first day home, I felt that it shrunk since I last went away. Perhaps. After all, the pond in 世纪公园 (Century Park) was about twenty times the size of BedokReservoir. Walking down from Far East to City Hall, was actually a breeze after all those times we shopped the entire wholesaler areas for hours at a time. Now, only TopshopZaraMassimo still appeals to me. I don't find myself walking into shops every few minutes because something caught my eye. And I find myself missing those massive ZaraH&M shops at Huaihai. And Superbrand Mall. I miss the massiveness of things. I miss the beauty of the city at night. Its energy and vibe is addictive, and so are the people. They are the ugly ones of course, those who disgust and make me want to throw them into deportment class. Those that are almost caricature like of all things Cheena. But then there are the Beautifuls, who make me just gape at their style and gait. Their confidence, their iron-steel gaze. Their elegance.

But I am so thankful I can finally walk without looking down for potholes on the sidewalks. That I can finally walk in heels on the streets again without stumbling (and embarrassing myself). I love the fact that we have dustbins. Instead of garbage piles by the sidewalk. The smell of sea water, still makes me smile involuntarily. And it's nice sitting in cars again. Crazy driving or not. It's great having such comfortable taxis, and emergency pick-up/drop-off services (:P) as always. And yes, the Kopitiams with a clear night sky up above still gives me my moments of peace. And did I mention, that spitting is a SGD 500 fine?

After awhile, we realise that life is all about chapters.
Nothing ever stays the same.
Our relationship with those around us, with our environment is dynamic.
Although we'll never be able to replicate the moment, it lives forever, internalized within each of us.

We always look back and say, the good ol' days. But, the good ol' days can be the here and now. It's not easy. Everytime we close a chapter, we bring with us memories and lessons which can weigh us down with time.
After awhile, we get tired because we feel that the lessons are too much to bear.
Lessons from the workplace. Lessons of politics.
Lessons from the mercernary. Lessons of betrayal.
But we also bring memeories of secret inside jokes. Of pillow chit chats till 2a.m.
We bring memories of the warmth of timely phone calls from family.
Simple happiness of kite-flying. of Compassion.

After all that has been said and done, we pack our bags and say goodbye.
My introduction to Shanghai has been nothing short of drama.
But the lessons, and happiness I've had here, have helped change me.
For better or worse, I remember what my Dad said.
"Different is not a bad thing. It just means you're different."